Saturday, December 08, 2007

To play with the thunder

Would you want to write your own destiny, or would you rather go by what’s written in it already? Or are you the breed that doesn’t believe in either school of thought?

When you know exactly what's for breakfast on a Monday morning, it takes out the joy of looking forward to the kitchen area to check on mommy to see what’s cooking. When you know exactly what time the train departs, it steals away a sly thought from creeping in; the thought of oversleeping for a teeny bit more, hoping the train will be late as usual. I don’t peek out from my window anymore to catch a glimpse of the gift from the heavens. It doesn’t make me grin from ear-to-ear. I’m all covered up and ready to hit the road because the lady from the weather desk told me exactly what time the snow is expected to fall. How heavy it will be. And how long it will last.

My 4:45 PM shuttle is almost never late; it then doesn’t give me the opportunity to nervously fidget with my fingers waiting for the shuttle to pick me up. I know exactly when my train will arrive (which is a good thing ‘cos I get to book for a cab accordingly. That way I won’t get stranded at a lonely train station in the wee hours of the night). And I know quite well that I have to layer myself with clothing because it’s going to snow tomorrow.

I have nothing to look forward to when I leave from work, because again, I know what will await me at the Happy Hour back at my hotel. I even know the “French names” (if you will) of the wines that they serve from Monday through Thursday, and then, all over again from the next Monday through Thursday.

Even the bloody traffic lights are synchronized!

There’s not much left for imagination! There are hardly any surprises! There is little anticipation! There’s no exalt!!!

It doesn’t concern me that my future is already written out for me, but it does concern me that my day-to-day activities are already scripted! Some would think that it’s a good thing. But there are disadvantages. For one, I detest the fact that my personal life is planned out. Planning, as far as I am concerned, should stay shut at work! But that’s not the only disadvantage. My office security at the front-desk who smiles at me every morning and heartily wishes me to have an excellent day, refuses to recognize me if I forgot my office badge someday! It really doesn’t bother me much, but it tells me that relationships are like a canoe that meekly rocks on waves of golden protocols.

How much more scripted can life get, when even the thunder wonders if it should strike on a dark rainy afternoon, simply because it wasn’t on the forecast the previous day?!?

You must think I sound crazy, but back in Madras, however much indiscriminate things are, I kinda like it that I don't know what to expect next. Whether on road, at home, for lunch, at work, at a movie, what have you! Pleasant or unpleasant; what's the point in living after all, if there aren't little surprises to look forward to?


dharmabum said...

yaaa...konjam kadi daan pa. ingey every moment is a surprise. like i how i barely managed to escape a pan-laden blob of saliva out of the bus, while i was happily riding to work this morning!

iyer - why don't u kick that job and look for something that lets u do what you want, where you want?

Oracle said...

Now you are sounding like Sorgamae Yendraalum song by Ramarajan...

Very well written though.

Miss Iyer said...


LOL, that must've been fun ;)

Oh I love what I'm doing. I cant believe I actually complain about things being in order. :D But then, maybe I'm just too homesick.


Is it OK that although I don't know which song you're talking about, I still think its funny? :P

Thanks Oracle. You're my big time inspiration :)

mº¿ºsh, brecht & nora said...

i think u r just plain homesick G3. I am a neurotic, hv this compulsive disorder thingy going on since forever so i need (and love)for all things to be in order A-Z, colour coded, house proper and tidy at all times = ) Some of my cooler friends find me a total bore = ( but i like it, makes me feel more me and comfortable heheheh

Oracle said...

This is the song I was talking about, was a hit during my school days.

Listen to it!

Miss Iyer said...

ahhaha, Mush, that way, I'm one too. I need my things to be in order all the time! But sometimes if every thing's totally in order, what's the joy? :-/

Anyway, like you said, I think I'm just plain homesick!


Gotcha, You're rite. It sure is ;)

phish said...

...and the heavyness of routine and boredom creeps its clammy, cold hands over my being.

get out if only for awhile. skip a meal. jump the gun. say something rude. drink a lot of the same wine over the week.

bombay is just as bad. a hazy different everyday. but exactly the same feelings of loneliness and despair.

sometimes aided by alcohol.