Save the Samjhauta? Oh Really!

Save what?

I’m disturbed!!!

What’s bothering me?
Young children being sexually abused!? The Samjhauta express being bombed!? A bus getting burned down with more than a dozen girls trapped inside and the accused doesn’t get anywhere near a trial for years!?

Not really!

What disturbs me even more? They get into a trial; there’s a media hype, the politicians won’t give out a word about them terrorists (IF they got them into custody in the first place), special security personnel will be arranged to transfer them between the court and their fully furnished cell, non-vegetarian food will be provided for them once a week, precious time of our courts will be wasted, … the list is endless! Now where does the money for all this come from? I didn’t see our FM say anything about funds for terrorists in Feb last! :-/ Or maybe it falls under the funds allocated for Defense?!

But nah, I really don’t care about any of that shit! What bothers me most is that WE get burned down, WE get bombed, OUR children get gang-raped, AND, the government decides to run what they call a FAIR trial on these criminals with the money WE pay as taxes.

So basically, we pay the killers to get killed!

Even as our country still has a zillion things that needs improvement (which can well be managed within the tax money that is being collected), it really make me feel disgusted the way the government is approaching these issues!

Know what? If you ask me, they shouldn’t be spending TIME (whatever little our policemen have) and money on these inhuman people trying to run investigations or interrogations with them. What’s the point anyways? Whom are they trying to find? The brains behind it all?

I beg to differ. In my opinion, if they burn down a bus – we tie them together and burn them down, bomb them back, dunk them into the ocean, feed them to the wild, chop off their arms and legs and leave them on the road; I can think of a dozen other unmentionable ways. For one, it’s an easier verdict, find them, kill them… two; and most importantly, when they get the idea that this is what they will be suffering from if they get caught, there might be lesser and lesser crimes…

** Sigh **!! But Ma disagrees. In fact, she simply made a face and said “You’ve gone crazy!”

Maybe I have, but not by MY standards. I still think I'm right! :-D

This is what I prefer to call craziness!

Update!

My car is back ... AND it looks as good as new.

With a little more than 19 grand sitting on it, it mighty well be!!!

And I'm gonna heed Dharma's advice here and get that license soon before my Learner’s License expires. :-D

Meet the Traffic - Be a Monopoly

One of the ‘N’ things we gripe about every single day
But somehow manage to get through it anyway
A peek at the lighter side of it


If you have a license to drive (or even if don’t have one, like moi), then I’m sure you don’t need me (or anyone for that matter) to tell you how to drive.

Nevertheless, it is one thing to drive normally and a totally different thing to be driving on Indian roads. There are certain ground rules at it and if you don’t follow them, you’re not breaking any law, but you’ll simply look COMPLETELY out of league — a social outcast! Do you want to be one? No? Then read on; with a little help, you’ll be one of us too…

1. Your goal is not to arrive at the destination, but to cover the next half a kilometer successfully.



2. Be loud! Get the people to actually notice you. At traffic lights, leave no more than two inches between your vehicle and the one in front of you and honk away like it’s nobody’s business.



3. When taking off from a stop sign, floor the gas and pretend to take off with a jolt but quickly apply your brakes as fast as you took off. Confusing that little moron driving right behind you will make you feel like you’re on Mount Alps! :-D



4. Lane driving: D-o-n-’t try it and end up getting your car battered. Drive on any lane you feel like and swiftly move from one to the other leaving your fellow commuter totally bewildered! He’ll try to do the same to you and try to make you look like a fool, but if you’re experienced enough (read if you have the courage and skill), you wouldn’t let him do that, would you? Sooner or later, he’ll give up and accept defeat.



5. Much to the annoyance of the other people on the road, do, oh please do ramble into your mobile phones. Here’s an interesting theory to it that a fellow colleague related to me sometime back:


“You wake up very late in the morning and rush to work trying to avoid the morning traffic in vain. Then, when you get to work, your boss gets all the attention; besides, you can’t have a personal conversation when the work place is insanely quiet. During coffee breaks, you don’t get to speak to anyone on the phone, ‘cause that’s when all your fellow colleagues are sharing the newest gossip at work. Lunch break is pretty much ruled out too, ‘cause you’ve gotto respect the person sitting right in front of you; nopes, can’t yap away those glorious 20 minutes. When you get home, your wife nags you about a malfunctioning microwave, or a leaking tap in the bath! So that leaves you with the time you spend driving to and from work. Considering traveling takes away most part of the day, this is the only leisure time you’ve got, to talk to your friends.”

I should agree it’s a pretty sensible theory. So go on guys, please speak into those phone while on the road. You’re doing your boss, your colleagues, AND your wife a little favor.


6. Save those batteries. Use those headlights and turn-indicators sparingly!



7. If you’re confused on how to race against that nincompoop who overtook you a few seconds ago, don’t panic, just trust your instincts and race back at him. It never fails you know.



8. Wave your hand frantically out of the car every now and then. It doesn’t have to mean a thing, but it’ll confuse the shit out of the others.



9. Careful where you’re going. There will be a pothole, a puddle of water, a speed-bumper, every 10 yards separated at a 5 feet distance diagonally, vertically, AND horizontally. This is where following rule #4 really helps. Get the picture?



10. As a rule of thumb, never look in the eye of the Traffic cop. I’m NOT going to explain why. Some rules are better left unexplained!

Now for a quick reality check. Out of the points listed above, I follow 1, 4, 9, and 10 diligently.

So you tell me, am I an improvement or am I still a social outcast?

As funny as the above account may sound, I’m sure you’d agree that traveling on Indian roads is pretty painful. Thank God, Chennai isn’t so bad; we think twice about the infrastructure before we decide to let the IT companies exploit us. But, can you even begin to imagine driving on Mumbai or Bangalore roads? :-/

So I think we should stop fretting over it and start following these simple rules ;)

The Yukon Song

Each time I read this peom, I get transported to a totally different world!

My tiger friend has got the sled,
And I have packed a snack.
We're all set for the trip ahead.
We're never coming back!

We're abandoning this life we've led!
So long, Mom and Pop!
We're sick of doing what you’ve said,
And now it's going to stop!

We're going where it snows all year,
Where life can have real meaning.
A place where we won’t have to hear,
"Your room could stand some cleaning."

The Yukon is the place for us!
That's where we want to live.
Up there we'll go to yell and cuss
And act real primitive.

We'll never have to go to school,
Forced into submission,
By monster, crabby teachers who'll
Make us learn addition.

We'll never have to clean a plate,
Of veggie glops and goos.
Messily we'll masticate,
Using any fork we choose!

The timber wolves will be our friends.
Well stay up late and howl,
At the moon, till nightmare ends,
Before going on the prowl.

Oh, what a life! we cannot wait,
To be in that arctic land,
Where we'll be masters of our fate,
And lead a life that's grand!

No more of parental rules!
We're heading for some snow!
Good riddance to those grown-up-ghouls!
We're leaving! Yukon Ho!

The Yukon Song
From: Yukon Ho!
Bill Watterson

What an evil eye can do…

OK, my car is unwell. How, you ask? Well, here’s what happened last evening...

Yesterday my dad wanted to use the car and he asked me to get to work by bus. I could have very well asked him to take a rick to wherever he was headed. But not after he said that he needed to go somewhere close to Kancheepuram on work. So, the goody daughter that I am, I let him take the car.

Besides, I think one should take our very own MTC bus off and on. My fellow passengers double-up as my body guards, giving me that snug feeling throughout the ride, never letting me move an inch here or there, until I eventually decide to jump out.

But I really can’t complain, can I? Nopes! Not after the share-auto ride I had to take to reach work. On second thoughts, you could call it a “2 kilometer death-ride”. I had to practically grab at the railings of the rick, holding on to dear life not knowing for sure when I might get thrown out!

Somebody p-h-u-u-l-l-ease tell these share-auto guys that they need to check their rpm. During the little while that these guys wait for the traffic lights to change to green, which they do under extremely rare situations, you can feel your entire body shaking; cheeks jumping up and down, teeth rattling, butt getting displaced, and my spectacles gradually being moved from the bridge of my nose to the edge. And with both my hands holding onto either sides of the rick, you can assume how important (or unimportant) it becomes to adjust my glasses then! Phew! That was ONE helluva ride!

Anyway, back to the subject of how unwell my car is... As drained as I was when I reached home last night, I didn’t forget to take a look at my parking lot at home. Of course, it was parked there, as usual. But only when I went to take a closer look, did I notice the big gaping dent on its butt! Instantly I felt myself gasping for air “Ohmigod! How could this have possibly happened? Was there a car crash?” :-/

I quickly entered our home, waiting for an explanation. There was my dad, perched at his desk with papers strewn all over the table (he looked fine, so obviously he wasn’t hurt); and from the calm way he greeted me, you’d think that I could crash my car and bring it back every single night!

But well, I didn’t have to ask him a single question ‘cause he merely pointed out those dotted lines on the insurance papers where he needed my signature!

Aaargh! I feel awful! :(